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I don’t know about you, but I could use a laugh. I was considering putting a Prozac salt lick in the kitchen when a colleague sent me a link to an article about a bra that can be transformed into two facemasks.

“The Emergency Bra can be transformed into two facemasks… when personal protective equipment (PPE) is not available. The comfortable, cushioned bra is uniquely made with specialized filtration layers similar to an N95…”

I thought “surely this is a joke,” but the website looks real enough. The inventor is a physicist, and it’s geared more toward nuclear emergencies than pandemic ones. I provide below some excerpts from the website, and how I think this scenario would play out:

“In the event of an emergency, look for a change of color in the upper opening of the sensor’s pocket located under the front clasps of the brassiere.”

(Excuse me fellas while I check my lingerie to see if this is actually a nuclear emergency.)

“If the top opening has developed a color darker than that of the lower opening, convert the Emergency Bra into face masks and apply the mask while proceeding with the evacuation.”

(Yes gentlemen, my lingerie confirms that this IS a life-threatening emergency. Can you wait just a second to begin the evacuation while I remove my bra? I assure you that this is a vital safety precaution.)

“For a quick estimate of the dose (in RAD units), remove the sensor and match the sensor’s color with side calibration bars…”

(Guys, what color does this sensor look like to you? Please, I need you to look at the calibration bars. I have an extra red ruffled mask to share which does not look weird at all — but I may have some trouble running…)

–Caroline


EDIT: As further evidence that the nuclear emergency bra is not a joke, commenter John Owen was kind enough to share the following You Tube video of the inventor receiving the “Ignoble Prize.” Check it out below:


Dr. Fife sees patients at the CHI St. Luke's Hospital Wound Clinic in The Woodlands, Texas. For an appointment call (936) 266-2150.



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